Oh but what a piece of tinder we are
Sounds depressing? It is and it isn’t. As I sit here with the sorest Boobs ever from my first Mammogram (May I clarify the lady who did it was amazing and it did not hurt then, but muscles were stretched so…soreness.) and feeling triumphant in finding out I don’t even have pre-diabetes. I realize something.
I’m not old, but to 20 year old me I would have been old. That me never thought about Doctors, nurses, dentists. I stayed up almost all night, worked the next day. Lather, rinse, repeat. I never was a party girl. At age 18 when others drank I was volunteering at the animal shelter.
I went to a few parties, but I liked playing Dungeons and Dragons better.
I had dreams, they seemed real. Attainable. I felt invincible. Even after a few car wrecks (NOT my fault) I felt invincible.
Then my mid twenties happened, I was miserable.
Then they went away. Thank the Goddess, although I learned a lot. I entered my thirties. I gained weight, I slowed down.
The age was setting in. You aren’t old in your thirties! I certainly could not do at age 30 what I did at 20.
My point is today, it sank in. I’m getting older. I’ll need all this stuff checked all the time. Dear God.
So what’s the trade off? Our bodies slow down, eyesight starts to go, hearing…what’s the trade off?
Wisdom. At least for some of us, some not so much. I don’t know where I fall on that scale. In the end though. Wisdom.
In our society so against wrinkles and sagging boobs and stretch marks, age spots, shrinking as our backs bend and compress. Stay young! Society says, have surgeries, do this, and that.
Why? In days most people probably don’t even remember anymore, the elderly were put on a pedestal. They taught us, passed down stories from generation to generation. Sometimes there was no paper, or computers. I know, hard to believe. So the stories were passed down word of mouth for decades.
The Old knew the healing herbs and potions, the best hunting techniques.
We needed them.
So now in this day where all of this is not valued by many, I watch myself age I wonder if maybe it will be more like the ways of ancestors from all my lineage? Will we go back to listening, storytelling, learning, instead of fighting the inevitable.
So, fuck it in the end. My forties, I’m going to make them the best I can. It’s my life. I want to live it, and nobody better come at me with anti-aging cream!!